Stop Sitting Still in Church!

I grew up in a legalistic church where skirts for girls were required, hair over a boy’s ear was forbidden, and musical instruments in worship were scandalous.  Although I was allowed to participate in an underground Amy Grant album exchange, my family characteristically abided by the demands of the church.  Especially on Sunday.

Being vs. Doing

I am sitting on an airplane, physically and emotionally spent, returning home from the hospital bedside of my father.  After a week in the cardiac wing, he will be released within the next few days.  But we are far from sure that he leaves with hopes of better health.  My brother will stay behind to assure he adjusts to home life and a new medical regiment and diet while I fly home to wait, pray, and care for my family.  As I stare out the window at the passing clouds, I don’t know if this is a new beginning or the beginning of the end.

The Closing Door

As I finished rebuking my pre-teen, again, for the harsh way she used her words with her little sister, I turned to leave the bathroom.  I had no sooner stepped outside the threshold when I heard the door shut behind me . . . a little too hard.  SLAM!  “That’s it!” I thought to myself as I spun around on my heel.

“But Mom, I didn’t mean to shut it that hard!” were her defensive pleas as I dished out the corresponding consequence for her defiant behavior.  “You don’t understand!”

She claims she didn’t intend to slam the door; and, however naively, I believe she’s telling the truth as she sees it.  But what I responded to was not how hard she closed the door; it was the fact she closed the door at all.  The bathroom door was simply an outward expression for the door I sensed she was closing in her heart.  As she marched away, God convicted me as well.  I thought to myself, “Oh honey, I understand alright.  I understand all too well.”

A Resolution for New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolution (nyoo  yirz  rez’e-loo’shen) noun – originally an early Babylonian practice developed over 4 millennia ago in which a person reflects on the past and ponders the future resulting in a commitment to a reformation, a restoration, a lifestyle change, or a new endeavor.

Most of you who are brave enough to pledge a New Year’s Resolution have probably done so by now.  What I want to know is how many of you have already broken your commitment, or maybe abandoned it all together, at this early date in the year? Have you ever wondered why New Year’s Resolutions are so hard to keep?

Trust . . . in Word or in Deed? (Part 2)

This week, as we continue to look at the basic elements of developing our “trust” in God, I’d like to summarize what I have found in my own search for answers. If you are just joining us, you may want to read my previous post which introduced the question, “How do you trust God, practically speaking?” In other words, how do you develop a trust in God in an area of your life where none exists?

When I want answers that stand the test of time and circumstance as well as surpass the wisdom of men, I turn to the only place that has proven itself as reliable: Scripture. A simple word search on Biblegateway.com was all it took to reveal several pertinent pieces of information. Let’s look at them together.

Sizing Up the Job

I’ve just had an epiphany.

In order to be a writer, you have to actually write.

Profound, isn’t it!  But somehow, each time I set down to the keyboard, it seems an impossible task to bring virtual ink to paper.  The 109 keys in front of me (proof I’ve actually been sitting at the computer) have never been so hard to direct into a working thought.  But my time has run out. . .

I am currently sitting on a plane bound for Charlotte, North Carolina, and a Writers’ Conference arranged by my exuberantly supportive husband.  Once I set foot at that registration table, I am (in effect) declaring myself a “writer”.  Before this, writing was a task (to my amusement, an easily But now, writing is something I am publicizing as a reflection of my identity.  That’s quite a statement, given my lack of viewable evidence.

Many of you are aware of the nervous angst I have experienced about this conference.  It breaches new horizons for me on many uncomfortable levels.  It has raised seemingly unanswerable questions: Am I jumping ahead to quickly?  Will I be the only true “novice”? How am I going to absorb all this information?  What if Russ is wasting this money on me? But none of those questions hit the mark quite like: What if I’m not a writer?

For you spiritual giants that have been invited to critique my dribble, I already hear the echo of your heart – “Your true identity (the only one that really matters) is in Christ.  Anything else can not add or subtract to what you are in Him.”  There is valuable truth to be had here.  He will love me and use me for His purposes, writer or not.  But, it is also true that He makes us all in unique and purposeful ways.  Does my divinely predetermined purpose, born into my physical ability, mental capacity, emotional ???, and spiritual potential – in other words, my identity, include writing?  Hmmmmm . . .

I am currently reading A Chance to Die, a biography of the missionary Amy Carmichael written by Elisabeth Elliot.  I have found a kindred spirit here, although I would not claim to have her strength or courage.  My heart in it’s entirety echo’s Amy’s passion, “ ‘Nothing is worth doing at all, nothing is worth writing, which does not do something which will last.’ ”  Am I that kind of writer?  If I’m not, then it IS a waste of time and money.  There are no two ways about it in my mind.

So, what’s the answer you say?  Why did I get on the plane?  That, my friends was also given to me care of Elisabeth Elliot regarding our mutual “friend” Amy Carmicheal.  She states, “The willingness to sacrifice that springs from a loving heart rather than the desire for spiritual distinction is surely acceptable to God.  But, as in the case of Abraham’s offering his son Isaac, the sacrifice itself is not always finally required.  What is required is obedience.”

Obedience meant getting on the plane.  That’s really all there is to it.  And what about all the other unanswerables.  They’re not my problem.  Whether he desires my “lingual sacrifice” or just my willingness, there’s no way of knowing . . . yet.  I guess, if you stick with me for the journey, we’ll find out together.

My Christening . . . into Virtual Non-Reality

Me?  Write?  Write what?  No doubt, this writing endeavor is a more than daunting task to me.  I realize that may be surprising to some.  Anyone who knows me very well (OK, OK, at all) knows I certainly have an abundance to say.  But, I have to admit, most of that is just auditory surplus.  It has been rumored that my verbal onslaught is the inevitable outcome of the necessary air flow needed to keep my trachea from collapsing, preventing eminent suffocation.  No doctor has given a final diagnosis.

Other poor souls believe that what I have to say is worthwhile digesting, that somewhere in the constant dribble is a valuable nugget.  I’ve never completely understood this particular phenomenon.  I can only attribute it to our gracious Maker using a seriously cracked pot of clay to get His message heard.  Why?  I can not say.  But, again, this is in the land of auditory expression — words meeting ears, eliciting a comment, a question, a nod or, at minimum, a puzzled expression.  All of which are conversely received by me as a sort of return on investment.

Back and forth, to and fro.  Some call it relationship . . . and it’s the food my spirit lives on.  It’s a living volley between two people with conversation at the center.  How I enjoy the game.  But written words?  Those have a life unto themselves.  They can outreach and outlive relationship.  They extend beyond the confines of a two-person volley; and, in our electronic generation, can roam over distance, time, and language.  Will anyone be there to guide them?  Who will gauge the response?  What return on investment will find it’s way back?  Will it loose it’s way on the journey home?  The written word is an independent and apathetic comrade. I am fearful to take him in.

Yet, I am oh-too-clear on the calling.  And, therefore, I am compelled to move forward.  Consequently, I choose to entrust this process to One who knows the beginning from the end – in word and in matter.  It is He who has brought me to the task and it is He who will guide and gauge.  May my efforts bring a blessing to those in its path; but, above all, may it bring glory to to the One who created word and relationship.  It is the Lord alone that my soul needs to survive and His response alone I crave.